


Ripple

by awaytobeunshaken



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 08:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19225252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awaytobeunshaken/pseuds/awaytobeunshaken
Summary: "You're my best friend. And you could always translate Mom and Dad to me..."A series of interactions between Paul Stamets and his sibling.





	Ripple

The comm unit in his bedroom buzzed as Paul finished up the buttons on his shirt.  _ Hugh?  _ he wondered. He hoped the transport wasn’t running late. He brushed a loose lock of hair out of his face. Shit! What if it was early? He finished up the last of the buttons and answered the comm. 

“Oh, you are still alive.” Aubrey peered back at him from the screen. “I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

“Oh, it’s just you.”

“Cool, I love you, too, bro.”

“I didn’t--”

“I know.” They always did. It was part of why they got along so well. “You look nice. What’s the occasion?”

“Can’t I just look nice?”

“I’ve known you your entire life. No, you can't. Who exactly were you expecting to call, by the way?”

“Brie, you're the worst.”

“That's not an answer.” 

“Fine. I've been seeing someone. He's a doctor, he's in Starfleet, his transport is due in two hours, and it's our first time meeting in person since we met. And, no, you can't tell Mom.” 

“You’ve really got yourself worked up over him. I thought you said any guy worth your time would have to meet you where you’re at.”

“I did, but this is different. He’s different.”

* * *

 

_ ~How was the museum trip? You suffer through it okay? _

_ It was incredible!~ _

_ ~Don’t let dad hear you say that _

_ Dad never let me see  _ why  _ he appreciated it so much. He got so intellectual about it, explaining historical and cultural significance. Hugh let me see it through his eyes. He’s so enthusiastic about art. And I didn’t expect that, but I love it~ _

_ Hey! Are you free for lunch later? I want him to meet you~ _

* * *

 

Paul fiddled with the PADD as he typed. It was all going to go fine, he was sure. But still, if it didn't, someone had to know.

_ Brie, _

_ I hope you never have to see this, but if you do, just know that I had to do it. I couldn’t let anyone else get hurt, killed, because of me. Make sure Mom and Dad know... they’ll think it’s just recklessness, they always do, just make sure they know. _

_ Love, _

_ Paul _

He set the PADD down on the bed and headed for the lab.

* * *

 

_ WE DID IT! I did it. I transported myself via the mycelial network!~ _

_ ~What do you mean YOU did it?!? Didn’t someone just get KILLED testing that? _

_ Yes. But it’s my work. And this was my risk~ _

_ ~It’s Justin’s work, too, Everything doesn’t have to be on your shoulders _

_ It was my fault. I thought we could do it. We were arguing about it. That’s why Charlie~ _

_ It wasn’t ready~ _

_ I had to make sure~ _

_ ~I get it _

_ ~Doesn’t mean I’m OK with it _

* * *

_ Fuck~ _

_ Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK~ _

_ ~LOL, what happened? _

_ ~Paul? Everything okay? _

_ ~Is this about Hugh? _

_ ~Look, if you don’t want to talk that’s fine, just let me know you’re okay _

_ I’m ok~ _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_ Straal’s taking Starfleet's offer~ _

_ ~Oh _

_ ~What about you? _

_ They get the data, the samples, all of it. So I guess they’re getting me too~ _

_ ~So what are you guys gonna be doing? Just implementing the transporter stuff? _

_ Propulsion, actually. Moving entire starships through the network~ _

_ ~You want advice, or just commiseration? _

_ *shrug*~ _

_ ~That sounds pretty cool. And it’s not really something you’d be able to do on your own anyway _

_ ~It’s kind of the next step, isn’t it? _

_ I guess~ _

_ You know, it was hard enough to find time with Hugh when one of us was relatively stationary~ _

_ I don’t know when we’re going to see each other now~ _

_ ~Maybe you’ll end up on the same ship _

_ Like that’ll happen~ _

* * *

“Hey, Paul!” Aubrey waved at him through the vidscreen. “Are those the new digs?”

Paul nodded, a smile spreading across his face. 

“Okay, what’s that for, the room doesn’t look like anything special to me.”

“It’s not so much the room, as my roommate.”

“Really? A whole ship built around your research, and they don’t even let you have your own quarters?”

Hugh walked up behind Paul, draping his arms over Paul’s shoulders. “This was more by choice, actually.”

* * *

 

_ ~Hey _

_ ~Paul _

_ ~You still alive? _

_ Sorry~ _

_ Been busy with work~ _

_ ~Some work _

_ ~It’s been, like, 3 months since I’ve heard from you _

_ ~Guess you wouldn’t have had much chance for leave then, good thing Hugh got that transfer _

_ I guess, not that I even get to see  _ him _ that often~ _

_ ~That’s no good _

_ ~Mira would kill me _

_ I mean, he knows what the captain’s like, what kind of crunch I’m under~ _

_ He knows it’s not that I don’t  _ want _ to spend time with him, right?~ _

_ He has to~ _

_ ~I’m not the person that can answer that, Paul _

* * *

 

“Paul! Since when do you initiate contact?”

Paul shrugged. “I was bored, noticed it wasn’t too late for you, thought I’d say hi. Hi!”

“Well if you’ve got some free time, maybe you should be spending it with your partner that you never get to see.”

“We’re actually doing a lot better on that front. I had a breakthrough a few weeks ago; really eased up on my workload. He actually needed a break from me. Apparently I’m getting on his nerves a little with wedding stuff.”

“Excuse me! What wedding stuff?”

“I mean, we haven’t decided anything officially. Just kind of... talking about it. Throwing ideas around. Honestly, if it was up to me, we’d just elope, you know? Go see the captain and get it done. But he says his mother would never let him hear the end of it, and if we’re going to make an occasion out of this, then I want it to be perfect. Just like him.”

* * *

 

Aubrey grabbed the PADD from the bedside table, even though they’d memorized the words long ago. First the official statement:  _ We regret to inform you that the USS Discovery disappeared en route to Starbase 46 from the Pahvo system, with all hands.  _ Followed by the personal message. Usually that would be a voice recording, sometimes even a holo, but Paul, as usual, chose to express himself in writing.

_ Brie, _

_ So before I ship out, I’m supposed to leave a message on file for my next of kin. You know, in case I die. And since my next of kin is serving on the same ship, I also need to leave one for someone else. _

_ I’m not sure what the point is; this is a science vessel, it’s not like we’re going to be on the front lines or anything. I guess anything can happen, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel about possible eventualities, or whatever. So, I guess, keep an eye on Hugh if he’s still there. Or check up on his family if he didn’t make it either. And I’m sorry it had to end up like this.  _

_ But like I said, you’re never going to see this anyway. _

“Brie?” Mira put a hand on their shoulder. “Are you...oh,” she stopped as she noticed what Aubrey was reading, and put her arms around them, and they relaxed into the embrace, slipping a hand up to take Mira’s.

* * *

 

“Brie?”

“Paul! Oh, my god! We got the word about  _ Discovery, _  but all they would tell us was that the ship was found. I didn’t know when, or if, I was going to hear from you.”

“I know. I know. There hasn’t been time. Even now, there’s only so many channels we can have open at once, I’ve only got a few minutes. But I’m on my way home now.”

Aubrey nodded, silently. “At least you all made it back safe.”

Paul bit his lip, and tears filled his eyes. “Not all of us,” he sobbed.

“Oh, no. Hugh?”

He nodded.

* * *

 

_ ~Hey, Paul _

_ ~Just checking in _

_ ~How you doing? _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_ ~Hello? _

_ He’s back~ _

_ ~What? _

_ Call me~ _

“Since when do you ask me to call you? What’s going on?”

“The mycelial network. Hugh was alive, trapped there, and... and now he’s back.”

“How?”

“It’s a lot to explain, and you weren’t there, and a lot of it’s still classified. I wish I could tell you everything.”

“I mean, even this is a lot to take in. I mean, I’m so happy for you, but wow.”

“And you were right, I kind of took him for granted before, and I need to change that. This time I’m gonna do everything right.”

* * *

 

_ He did try to talk to me, a couple days ago~ _

_ I kind of blew him off~ _

_ I knew what he was going to say, that we both need to move on, and I just wasn’t ready to hear it~ _

_ And yet there’s that stupid part of me that keeps hoping...~ _

_ ~What if that part of you is right, though? _

_ ~Maybe he’s ready to try again _

_ But if he’s not, I don’t want him to fake it just for me~ _

_ I need to know that I can walk away~ _

_ And I’m just not there yet~ _

* * *

_ Hi Aubrey, _

_ I wish you didn’t have to get another one of these from me. But at least this time I can say some of the things I didn’t bother with before. You deserved better than that. You’re my best friend. You always could translate Mom and Dad to me, even if I didn’t know what Dad was talking about half the time. I know you thought I was their favorite, but I was just louder. _

_ I finally did it. I said goodbye to Hugh. I don’t know how I held myself together, and I guess circumstances kind of forced my hand, but I managed to walk away. It still hurts, so much, but it was time to move on. It was what I had to do, for both of us.  _

_ And this hurts, too. Leaving you, leaving everyone. But it’s something else I have to do. Because I’ve had a chance to see what Hugh loved about Starfleet, just, being part of something bigger than yourself. I expect this’ll be the last message I’ll get to send you. But if it all goes right, maybe we won’t be as far apart as you think. _

* * *

 

There was never any formal memorial to the USS Discovery, in fact, when pressed, Starfleet Command wouldn’t acknowledge the ship’s existence to anyone who didn’t have immediate family on board. But those who have experienced tragedy find a way to commemorate it regardless, and several months after Discovery’s disappearance, Aubrey found themself in a park several kilometers from fleet Headquarters, facing a huge slab of stone with a unique starship silhouette engraved into it.

The site was littered with the usual sorts of remembrances, photos, notes, bouquets of cut flowers that had grown dry and brittle. But Aubrey didn’t want to leave anything here that would be washed away with time. They wanted their mark here to last. They pulled a sculpting laser from their bag and pointed it at the stone, carving carefully but deeply into the surface.

* * *

“Officially, there’s no record that Discovery ever existed,” Saru explained. “ _ Unofficially,  _ there’s a rock in a park not far from HQ that some of you may find interesting.”

Paul and Hugh beamed down together to the park’s entrance, then made their way to the coordinates, Hugh maybe walking a little closer than he needed to, but Paul wasn’t about to tell him off for hovering. He wasn’t that long recovered from his injuries, after all.

It wasn’t long before he spotted it, a slab of stone bearing the remains of a familiar silhouette. Anything else that might have been left here had been long ago washed away by time. Paul could tell that some folks had attempted to leave their mark on the stone itself, with paint or ink, but the marks were faded enough to be unrecognizable. There was one item he could make out though, and he traced his thumb over the lines carved into the stone near the ship’s starboard nacelle. The outline of a mushroom, and the initials  _ A.S. _

“They knew.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
